Little Monkey at The Side of the Road: Where Have You Been?

ToDay.. I am stuck at home.

I could go on a long, tumultuous rant about my detest for mechanics
but instead, i will spend my energy plotting to kill them...

"So.. uh...", (insert ball scratching motion here), "u're (something)-belt is gonna go, u gotta a leaking gasket, blah blah, ur breaks are going, blah blah, ur (something)-water tank is leaking, blah blah.....".
This all continues until the climax, grand total estimation, of $2000 is announced.

C-girl Translation:
All of the above is silently destroying my car from the inside out. If left unchecked, this rot will, suddenly and mercilessly, make my car stop working; potentially killing me in a fatal car accident if only I am fortuitous enough to be caught in high traffic at the time.

C-girl's fantasy response:
"Are you out of your fucking trees?"
The heads of all the mechanics in the room suddenly implode, with tidy little *POOFS*, proceeded by the slow delicate trickle of their brains, running down their greasy chests, to the floor.

"Excuse me, but my car came in here working perfectly fine. I just wanted you to make sure all was fine and dandy for a road trip... u know: fill the fluids, wiggle the hoses, ect ect, and you're now trying to tell me that i need two grand worth of work??????!!!!!!!!*****"

Speechless Resolution.
OK.
I'm Done.